Socially (Un)Acceptable

When we first moved to Walla Walla at the end of May, the first church we went to could easily be described as a whiz-bang church. You know the type: Fog machines and laser lights during worship. A worship team that's better described as a "band," and writes their own music (so you never know the songs). A high-gloss children's ministry, complete with a multi-level treehouse and slide built into the classroom. The messages were strong and powerful. And Clark was getting a lot out of it. So, OK. Good enough.

After a month, we decided to attend the membership class, because TJ and I feel strongly in being members and serving in the church we belong to. We laughed and enjoyed getting to know everyone and hearing their mission.

And then they gave us the membership document to sign. For the unchurched, basically it's a boiled-down statement of faith that gets at the core of what this specific body believes. And in signing, you acknowledge that yes, you believe all this too.

It's typical stuff: We believe in Jesus Christ, one path to salvation, saved by faith, all that stuff.

And then, for no reason, "We believe that marriage is between one biological man and one biological woman."

TJ saw it first, and passed me the paper, tapping the sentence and giving me a concerned look. I read it and my heart sunk. Oh no.


We left without signing. We haven't been back.

As a politically and socially liberal Christian, sometimes I struggle to fit in at church. I support legal reproduction choices. I support gay marriage. I support equality for all regardless of faith, gender identity, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, and etc. I think that our non-religious (let's be real) government should be making decisions based on rules that aren't defined by religious tradition.

I also believe that Jesus Christ is the one true way to salvation, I believe in Creation, I struggle with evolution, and I believe sin is real and consequences are real and scripture is God breathed.

I also believe that we live in a fallen world, where any number of things may happen to a developing life in the womb, and for us to draw lines based on an ancient understanding of gender and identity is a huge mistake.

I believe all people should be welcomed in church. I believe it's wrong for a church to single out a segment of people and say, essentially, "You aren't welcome here."

Let's be clear: Nowhere in this document did this church flat out say, "Homosexuality is a sin. Being transgender is a sin. Let's pray that away for you."

But they may as well have. "We believe that marriage is between one biological man and one biological woman." 

Why a church body would feel compelled to insert a social statement into a faith document is beyond me. I challenge churches who carry such similar statements to ask themselves: Would you ever write into your faith statement, "We believe that alcohol is to be consumed moderately and that drunkenness is sinful." "We believe that ingesting marijuana or doing other recreational drugs goes against God's will." Not in a million years. Because Christian's love to point out that "all sin is equal" and "love the sinner, hate the sin." You'd never call someone out like that for their mistakes and shortcomings.

And yet, Christians who believe with conviction that non-binary identities and LGBTQIA+ people are living a sinful lifestyle feel OK to call them out every day.

I know only a few things in this world with confidence:

• No matter who you are or who you love or what's between your legs or in your heart or between your ears, Jesus loves you.
• Irreversible harm has been caused to LGBTQIA+ people because of rigid Christian beliefs. People have lost their lives, prejudice has overflown. Families are torn apart. Division is built. That's not what God's kingdom is supposed to look like.

As Christians, sometimes we have an ugly choice in the face of harmful belief structures that cause division and drive people from Christ. We can stay silent, look the other way, or pretend it doesn't really mean anything. Or we can remember that God is love, that Jesus never turned anyone away, ever. Jesus never signed a document that blocked people from him. He opened his arms and gave his all so that we all can come and know him.

Rather than high-gloss, whiz-bang faith, let's strive for authentic faith, that struggles with societal changes, that asks God for clarity on scripture, that makes no assumptions about people and where they belong in the kingdom. I don't know everything; I never will. But Jesus loves me anyway, and he's not afraid to hear me struggle and ask questions.

This morning, Clark cried because he wanted to go to the glossy church with a treehouse and slide in the classroom. He wanted to know why we weren't going there. I said simply, "Well, even though they love Jesus, they believe some things that mommy and daddy don't agree with. We think it isn't kind."

When you're 5, you don't get it. You just care about the whiz-bang factor. But I want my son to grow up with an authentic faith, too. And if he should happen to grow up and love a man, I don't want him for one second to question whether his father and I love him, and whether Jesus still loves him, and whether he can still be saved by faith and grace.

All the rest of it we can figure out on the other side.