A Journey Without a Destination

On the precipice of Big Things, I am often dissatisfied.

Maybe at this point it's better to call it "jaded."

I'm jaded.

OK, and dissatisfied.

Because I am tired of awaiting the Big Thing. Somehow, somewhere, I got this idea of what Life would be like. Homeownership. A little yard with a fence. A nice kid. A good husband. A job in which I'm often challenged and grow and see paths forward for advancement. A place of intellectual growth. Enough free time and expendable income to travel or do, within reason, basically whatever comes to mind. Healthy and thinner and someone who exercises and eats correctly. Minimal debt.

The American Dream.

I can't see a way forward anymore, and I'm realizing that this Life Dream isn't something that might ever be reality. Instead, a paycheck-to-paycheck scramble. A little bit of never enough. And always, always, something dangling right in front of us.

Is this it? I wonder. Is this job it?

No.

Is this it? Is this move it?

No.

Maybe this job ... this is the job, right?

No.

Well, at the very least, this diet, right? I mean this is the lifestyle ...

No.

The faults of an identity wrapped up in WHAT you DO rather than WHO you ARE.

This month, I'm looking out over the expanse of the next two and a half years and wondering what the landscape is like Out There. Are two more graduate degrees the key to unlocking that Life Dream? Is there some other unknown? Will this story do it, or that article?

Or is the day-in, day-out push all that there ever is? Are we called instead not to yearn for the Big Thing, and instead quest after obedience to a vision that's not ours? We've been discussing in church that true faith is nothing more than "consistent obedience in the same direction." Small step. Small step. Small step. Listen for God's voice. Take that next step.

Have faith not in the destination, but in the journey. Don't look for the next thing. Look for the thing you're in. Look around and ask, "What can I do here, Lord?" Rather than, "Where are you taking me?"

We'll find out where He's taking us when we get there. Somehow you have to be able to not miss the journey on the way.