The lap nap

My 3 1/2-month-old son won't nap. This behavior began about month 2 of his as-of-yet-brief life. He starts to cry when Mommy or Daddy move him into a napping position and protests it with all his little heart.

But he needs to nap. Lord knows, he needs to nap. Without it, after two or so hours of alertness and play time, he turns into a little, well, whiny baby. He needs those glorious minutes of downtime to reboot his system.

But he doesn't want them.

So we cuddle, we sing, we dance, we shush. We bounce, we walk. We rock. We dedicate 30 to 45 minutes to lull him into a naplike state, ease him gently into his crib ... and those little eyeballs pop open, ready to play.

And we start again.

Usually, he naps for 20 to 30 minutes and then decides he's done. So yes, usually the art of achieving the nap takes longer than the nap itself.

I cave in to the lap nap.

That's right: My baby is in my arms or laying on a Boppy across my lap for most of his naps. I can sometimes get an hour or more out of him this way.

And this is terrible, just terrible. The baby books are perfectly clear: He needs to go down in his crib, sleepy but alert. He needs to talk himself to sleep. He needs to cry it out. He needs to learn how. I am enabling bad nap behavior for years to come. I will have a toddler on my hands in two years that won't nap unless momma is with him.

After a few weeks of beating myself up about this I have made a command decision: I don't care.

This afternoon, my son was nestled on my shoulder, one tiny hand clutching the collar of my shirt, snoring lightly. I relaxed on the couch and read a magazine I've been gazing longingly at since it came in the mail a month ago. TJ read a book on the other end.

It was perfect.

While Clark napped, the laundry didn't get done. The dishes didn't get washed. His bottles didn't get scrubbed and sterilized. I didn't clean the bathroom or balance the checkbook. I didn't run an errand to the UPS store to mail a box.

My son's lap-naps are the first moments of forced non-productivity I've ever had in my life. I am a busy woman, a get-up-and-go kinda gal. I have very little idle time in my day. Even time spent watching TV is usually multi-tasked -- I'm checking email or making dinner or entertaining the baby.

But for an hour or so once or twice a day, now I do nothing. I nap too, sometimes. Or I read. Or I quietly watch Netflix. And my son purrs, almost like a kitten, over my arm. And my brain unwinds over this perfect little creation.

Am I setting myself (and my son) up for nap failure in the future? I doubt it. He's slept through the night since he was 2 months old. He goes down without a fight and can soothe himself back to sleep. We know he can do it.

But, like his momma, he is an active little guy who doesn't want to waste time during those precious daylight hours with nonsense like napping. He has fingers to eat, toes to explore, rattles to shake. Body parts to master. And if he ends up being 2 and wants to nap with Momma, that's just fine. Momma wants to nap with him, too.

In the meantime, I will take every perfect, soft, sweet, cuddly moment I can get.

And I'm not going to feel bad about it.