Dear Friend

Dear Friend;

Behold, I stand at the door and knock ...

There's something I need to tell you. I've wanted to for some time, but I was afraid. Afraid of what you'd think of me. Afraid it would ruin our friendship. Afraid it would push you away.

I'm a Christian. And I want to tell you about Jesus.

I want to tell you that Jesus loves you, just exactly the same as He loves me. I want to tell you about how He changed my life — how He transformed me. I want to share with you the peace I have, that really does surpass understanding. I want you to understand how faith in Jesus offers you more than a spot on some cloud — it offers you life — here, today. It offers you joy, and freedom from all the things that weigh you down. It offers you a path to live and a guide to walk it with you. Jesus offers you everything — but mostly, He offers you unconditional love.

But I can't tell you any of this, because you're gay.

And you being gay and me being a Christian means we have a conflict. At church recently I was given the opportunity to sign a petition opposing our state's law to let you marry the love of your life — and call it "marriage." And let it be just like my marriage.

You and I both know that churches around the country are full of these petitions, and people standing at pulpits telling you that Jesus wants to offer you freedom from your gayness.

But you don't feel like you need to be free.

And I don't understand the mechanics of sexuality so I can't tell you that you need to be free. But I can tell you that I need Jesus. And I know regardless of whether or not you're gay, you need Jesus. Because we all need Jesus. We're all struggling, failing, crawling through this life on our bellies and we all need the hope that this all means something and we're a part of something that matters. We need Jesus to tell us that He put himself on the cross so we could be with God again and have freedom from sin.

But I can't talk to you about sin, because we both know that Christians say homosexuality is a Sin. Capital "S" sin. Not a little sin like gluttony or coveting thy neighbor's ox. We can't talk about it because I can't explain to you why Christianity hones in on homosexuality as the Big Sin, when it's decided that other Biblical no-nos (Leviticus 19:28: “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.") are now a relic of culture and history. But Leviticus 18:22 – "Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable." — well, that one we all struggle with.

I can't invite you to come to church with me, because I'm afraid you'd see that announcement in the bulletin and walk out, knowing you — as a gay sinner — aren't welcome. I know you'll feel like you can only come to church, only come to Jesus, if you're ready to be "set straight."

I can't explain the nuances of modern Christianity to you, and I can't justify some of the things my faith has done in the name of Christ. But I can tell you this: Whether you feel like your sexuality was a choice or how you were born, Jesus loves you. Jesus wants you. Jesus doesn't care. He wants to take you in His arms and fill all those empty pieces of yourself. He wants you to come to Him just as you are. That's how we all have to come. Because there's no other way to find salvation. We can't wait until we've cleaned ourselves up a bit. It's not possible.

So is your homosexuality a sin? Don't ask the pastor. Don't even ask me. Ask Jesus. He's the only one that knows the answers to any of these questions. The Bible says if we seek truth, we'll find it.

Friend, my relationship with Jesus Christ changed everything for me. It changed me in ways I can't fathom and brought me something I didn't know I was missing: Wholeness. Completeness. I couldn't find it in relationships or drugs or parties or my job or some greater truth about peace and oneness with the universe. I only found it in Jesus — in this perfect person who came down here and loved me and died for me in spite of my bigs Sins and my little sins.

I need to tell you that, because I want that for you. I want that for everyone. And I don't want society, Christians, Republicans, Democrats, whites, blacks, straights, gays, bis, and everything in between to keep you from Him.

He wants you. And all of these questions we both have, He has the answers. If you want, I'll ask Him with you. And we'll get there together. And I promise not to judge you if you promise the same for me.

Your friend,
A Christian.